Written by Emma Deeley
Congratulations! What an exciting time this is—you’re newly engaged, brimming with joy, and probably bursting to share the news with everyone you know. But before diving headfirst into wedding planning, take a moment to pause, breathe, and savour this special time together. At Tythe, we understand that your engagement is about more than just planning the big day—it’s about celebrating the journey that you and your partner are about to embark on.
In the coming months, you’ll have plenty of decisions to make, from choosing the perfect venue to picking out your dream dress or deciding on the perfect groom attire. But right now, it’s all about enjoying this moment, and we’re here to guide you through the early steps of your wedding planning adventure. Whether you’re envisioning a grand celebration or a quiet, intimate gathering, our guide will help you navigate everything from sharing your engagement news to starting the search for the perfect venue.
So, let’s take it step by step and make sure that the first part of your wedding journey is as joyful and stress-free as it should be.
Sharing the Big News: A Special Moment
It’s happened—you’re engaged! That magical moment is one to cherish, and we can only imagine the excitement bubbling up inside you. But before you shout it from the rooftops (or post it all over Instagram), take a moment to think about how you both want to share the news with those closest to you.
There’s something truly special about telling your closest friends and family in person, or at least by phone if they’re far away. It gives you the chance to relive the moment and share the excitement with the people who’ve been there for you both from the very start. Whether it’s over a quiet family dinner or a casual catch-up with your best friends, this is your chance to soak in their reactions—and trust us, those first gasps and happy tears are worth it!
● Top Tip: If your loved ones live further afield, consider setting up a surprise video call or sending them a heartfelt message before making a public announcement. It’s those little personal touches that make all the difference.
Announcing the Engagement Publicly
Once your inner circle knows, it’s time to spread the joy a little further. Some couples love to make a splash on social media, while others prefer something more low-key. The beauty of this moment is that it’s completely yours, so however you choose to do it, make it personal to you both.
● Social Media: A gorgeous snap of the two of you, the ring centre stage, or even a candid moment from the proposal – there are so many ways to share the news. You might keep it simple with a “We’re engaged!” or opt for something quirky that reflects your personalities.
● Engagement Party: If you’re the type to celebrate in style, why not throw an engagement party? It doesn’t have to be lavish – just a relaxed gathering with your nearest and dearest. It’s a lovely way to get both sides of the family together early on and start the celebrations in a meaningful way.
Remember, this moment is about you two first and foremost. However you choose to share the news, this is an opportunity to stamp your mark, personality and style as a couple!
Celebrate the Moment: Just the Two of You
Before diving into the whirlwind of wedding planning, take a step back and let yourselves bask in this beautiful moment. It’s tempting to rush ahead with the excitement, but one of the best things you can do is slow down and celebrate – just the two of you.
After all, this is the beginning of an incredible new chapter in your life together, and that’s something worth savouring. Whether it’s a quiet evening at home or a spontaneous weekend getaway, find a way to mark this milestone in a way that feels right for both of you.
It doesn’t have to be grand or elaborate—sometimes the simplest moments are the most meaningful. Whether it’s dinner at your favourite restaurant, a movie night snuggled on the sofa, or a long walk where you can talk about the future, it’s important to take some time to reflect on what this engagement means to you both.
● Why not re-create your very first date? It’s a lovely way to revisit those early days of your relationship while looking ahead to everything that’s to come.
If you’re the sentimental type, think about ways to capture the memory of your engagement. Maybe it’s a few photos snapped with your phones, or perhaps you start a journal together to record the excitement and the journey ahead. However you choose to do it, having something to look back on in years to come will only make this time feel even more precious.
● Some couples love to exchange small gifts or tokens to mark the occasion—whether it’s a piece of jewellery, a personalised memento, or even a love letter to one another, it’s a sweet way to celebrate this chapter before the planning begins.
Whatever you do, make sure it’s an evening (or weekend!) that’s all about the two of you. It’s your moment—enjoy it, soak it all in, and let yourselves dream about what lies ahead.
Set a Budget: The Foundation of Your Wedding Planning
Once the initial excitement has settled, one of the most important first steps is setting a budget. It might not be the most glamorous part of wedding planning, but trust us, it’s essential. Setting a realistic budget will guide so many of your decisions going forward, from the venue to the flowers, and will help keep everything on track as you plan your big day.
Talking about money can sometimes feel tricky, but it’s a conversation that needs to happen early on. Sit down together and have an open chat about what you both envision for the wedding and how much you’re comfortable spending. Remember, this day is about celebrating your love—whatever the budget, it will be magical.
● Top Tip: Start by thinking about the key elements that matter most to each of you. Is it the venue? The food? The photography? Prioritise where you want to allocate your funds, and be prepared to adjust other areas as needed.
Once you have a rough figure in mind, it’s time to break it down. The big-ticket items—such as the venue, catering, and photography—will likely take up a significant portion of your budget, so start there. But don’t forget about the little things! It’s easy to overlook smaller costs like wedding favours, postage for invitations, or even the costs of alterations.
● Budget Breakdown: A general rule of thumb is to allocate around 40% of your budget to the venue and catering, 10% to photography, and 10% to flowers and decor. The rest can go towards attire, entertainment, and other essentials, with a small percentage set aside for unexpected expenses.
One thing couples often don’t realise is that some costs can creep up unexpectedly—like VAT, corkage fees, or service charges. Make sure to ask all the right questions when discussing prices with suppliers, so there are no surprises later on.
● Top Tip: Keep a small emergency fund within your budget for any last-minute extras that pop up closer to the big day.
Budgeting doesn’t have to be stressful, but it does help to be prepared and realistic. Once you have a clear idea of what you’re working with, the rest of your planning will feel a lot more manageable, and you’ll be able to focus on the fun stuff—like picking out your dream dress or tasting cakes!
Choosing a Wedding Date: Setting the Tone for Your Day
Once you’ve set your budget, the next big decision is choosing your wedding date. It’s one of the most exciting steps because it starts to make everything feel real—this is the moment when you begin to picture your day and all the magic that will come with it. But before you circle a date on the calendar, there are a few things to think about.
The time of year you get married plays such a huge role in shaping the atmosphere of your wedding. Each season has its own unique charm, so start by thinking about what kind of vibe you’re after. Do you envision an outdoor celebration surrounded by flowers in full bloom? Or maybe you’d love a cosy, candlelit ceremony indoors as the evenings draw in. Whether you’re drawn to the fresh brightness of spring, the sun-soaked days of summer, or the warm tones of autumn, choosing a date that resonates with your vision will set the stage for your entire day.
● Top Tip: Consider the practicalities of each season. For example, if you’re dreaming of an outdoor wedding, you may want to pick a date during the warmer months when weather is more predictable but do bear in mind the importance of choosing a venue with an attractive and solid wet-weather back-up plan. At Tythe, we offer indoor and outdoor ceremony options – both equally stunning – so whatever the weather, couples can feel assured and confident that their celebration will be nothing short of exceptional! On the other hand, off-peak months can offer more availability and sometimes more budget-friendly options.
Being slightly flexible with your wedding date can open up a world of possibilities. Popular venues and suppliers often get booked up well in advance, 12-18 months on average, so having a few potential dates can make the planning process smoother. It also means you might have a better chance of securing your dream venue (like Tythe!) on a date that works for everyone.
● Top Tip: If you’re considering a specific venue or supplier, reach out early to check their availability. It’s always a good idea to have a few date options in mind before committing.
Some couples love the idea of choosing a date that holds personal meaning—whether it’s the anniversary of your first date, the day you got engaged, or even a family member’s birthday. These personal touches can add even more sentiment to your wedding day and make it feel even more special.
● Top Tip: If you’re hoping for a particular date with personal significance but can’t get it at your desired venue, why not incorporate the significance in another way? You could weave the number or date into your vows, your table numbers, or even a special toast during the reception.
Exploring Wedding Styles and Themes: Finding Your Wedding Vision
Now that you’ve started laying the foundations for your big day, it’s time to let your creativity run wild and start thinking about the style and theme of your wedding. This is where the fun really begins—when you start visualising how your day will look and feel. From the overall aesthetic to the tiniest details, finding your wedding vision is an exciting journey.
When you begin exploring different wedding styles, it’s important to think about what feels most authentic to you as a couple. Are you drawn to the timeless elegance of a traditional wedding, or do you imagine something a little more laid-back and rustic? Maybe you’re dreaming of a festival-style celebration with long banquet tables, live music, and relaxed outdoor vibes. The beauty of weddings today is that there’s no ‘one-size-fits-all’—you have the freedom to create something that reflects your personalities, story, and style.
● Top Tip: Take a little time to browse through Instagram, wedding magazines, Pinterest boards, and blogs. You’ll find inspiration for everything from décor and floral arrangements to bridal fashion and table settings. Save the images that catch your eye, and soon enough, patterns will emerge, showing you what kind of style feels right for your day. A little nugget to keep up your sleeve – don’t get too swept away with trends – most couples are planning their wedding one to two years in advance and popular trends are constantly evolving. Trust your instincts and stay true to your self, smaller trending elements can be added closer to the day.
Here are just a few styles that couples are loving:
● Rustic Charm: Think wooden beams, fairy lights, and soft, neutral tones. Rustic weddings often have a charming, countryside vibe that’s perfect for venues like Tythe, where our barn offers the ideal setting for that authentic, warm atmosphere.
● Classic Elegance: Crisp whites, formal table settings, and refined décor—this is the style for couples who love timeless, sophisticated celebrations. You might opt for a more formal structure with a sit-down dinner and grand floral centrepieces.
● Festival-Style Fun: If you’re all about creating a relaxed, informal vibe, a festival-style wedding could be perfect. Think outdoor marquees, long tables, live music, and food trucks. It’s all about fun, laughter, and a casual yet beautifully styled atmosphere.
Once you’ve gathered a few ideas, it’s helpful to pull them together into a mood board. This will help you visualise how all your ideas work together, from the colours to the décor. Tythe’s Pinterest boards provide loads of inspo! You might find that a certain style or theme starts to shine through, whether it’s romantic pastels, bold jewel tones, or rustic greens and neutrals. Creating a cohesive mood board will guide everything from your invitations to your flowers, making sure all the details flow together beautifully.
Once you’ve honed in on a style, think about how it will work with your venue. At Tythe, for example, our beautifully restored barns and idyllic outdoor spaces lend themselves to a variety of wedding styles. We’ve seen couples transform the barn into a stunning setting with opulent décor featuring sparkling crystal chandeliers and elegant gold-rimmed glassware whilst others have embraced the rustic surroundings for a more relaxed and informal vibe. Whatever your style, it’s all about making sure the venue reflects and enhances your own style and vision.
● Top Tip: If you’re still unsure about which style to choose, visit your venue (or even better, attend an open day) and see what ideas start to form when you’re in the space. Sometimes just walking around and imagining your day can spark that “aha!” moment. Tythe’s team have nearly 3 decades of experience hosting weddings and a wealth of inspiration and advice to share.
Finding Your Perfect Venue: Where the Magic Happens
Once you’ve got a clear idea of your style and theme, it’s time to start thinking about where it will all come to life—your venue. The right venue not only provides the backdrop for your day but also sets the tone for your entire celebration. From the moment your guests arrive to the final farewell, the venue is at the heart of every moment, so it’s worth taking the time to find the perfect place.
Start by making a shortlist of venues that fit your vision, budget, and guest list size. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the choices out there, but by focusing on the essentials – style, capacity, location – you can quickly narrow it down to a few top contenders. Are you picturing a barn wedding surrounded by countryside views? Or maybe you’re after something a little more grand and formal. Whatever your style, your venue should feel like the perfect reflection of you as a couple.
● Top Tip: It’s always helpful to prioritise what’s most important to you in a venue. Is it the setting? The exclusivity? The flexibility to make it your own? Knowing what matters most will help you decide. Tythe is a family-owned estate where passion and authenticity are woven into every detail. With over 500 years of history, its timeless charm and the heartfelt dedication of its owners, shines through in everything they do! It’s a one-of-a-kind place that offers an experience that’s hard to beat.
Questions to Ask on a Venue Tour
When visiting venues, there are a few key questions that will help you make the right decision. You want to make sure your venue can accommodate your style, vision, and any practical needs.
● What’s included? Does the venue come with in-house catering, an on-the-day event manager, décor options, or preferred suppliers?
● Capacity and flexibility: Does the venue comfortably fit your guest list? Is there flexibility for different layouts or ceremony set-ups?
● Exclusivity: Will yours be the only wedding on that day? Some couples love the idea of having the venue all to themselves.
● Logistics: Consider the practicalities – things like parking, accessibility, and wet-weather plans are essential to ensuring your day runs smoothly.
● Top Tip: Don’t be afraid to ask specific questions about what you can personalise. Some venues are more flexible than others, so knowing what’s possible can help you see how your vision will work in that space.
Visiting venues is an exciting part of the planning process, but it can be overwhelming with so much to think about. A good tip is to take notes or photos as you tour different venues so you can compare them later. At Tythe, we always recommend narrowing down your showrounds to around 3 to 5 venues. This helps keep your choices manageable and stops the process from becoming too overwhelming.
● Top Tip: Bring someone you trust with you, whether it’s your partner, a family member, or a close friend. They might notice things you haven’t thought of, and it’s always nice to have a second opinion!
The Engagement Party: To Host or Not to Host
Now that the excitement of your engagement is sinking in, you might be wondering whether to throw an engagement party. It’s a lovely way to celebrate this special time with family and friends, but it’s by no means a must. Let’s explore whether hosting a party is right for you, and how to make it work if you decide to go for it.
For some couples, an engagement party is the perfect excuse to bring everyone together and start celebrating early. It’s a chance to introduce families, spend time with friends, and share the joy of your engagement in a relaxed setting before the big day planning kicks into full gear. It can also help bridge the gap between the proposal and the wedding, keeping the excitement alive.
● Top Tip: Keep it simple! Engagement parties don’t have to be extravagant or formal. A casual gathering at your favourite pub, a barbecue in the garden, or even a relaxed brunch are all great ways to celebrate without the stress of major planning.
While an engagement party can be a fun prelude to the main event, it’s worth considering a few things before diving in.
Pros:
● Celebration time: It’s another chance to celebrate with loved ones, especially those who might not be able to attend the wedding itself.
● Connecting families: Engagement parties can be a wonderful opportunity for both sides of the family to meet and mingle before the big day.
Cons:
● Extra planning: Even if it’s a small affair, an engagement party still requires some planning, which can add to your to-do list.
● Cost: Depending on how elaborate you make it, it can also add to your overall wedding budget.
Alternatives to the Engagement Party
If a big party doesn’t feel right, there are plenty of other ways to celebrate this exciting time. You could host a smaller, more intimate gathering with just your closest family and friends, or even just plan a special day out with your partner to mark the occasion.
● Top Tip: If a traditional engagement party isn’t for you, consider a casual get-together with friends or a family brunch to keep the celebration low-key but still meaningful.
Hiring a Wedding Planner: Is It Right for You?
As the excitement of your engagement settles in and the reality of planning a wedding starts to take shape, you might be wondering if hiring a wedding planner is the right step for you. For some couples, a planner can be an invaluable asset, offering both practical support and peace of mind. But it’s important to think about whether it fits your needs, budget, and planning style.
Do You Need a Wedding Planner?
Wedding planning can be a lot of fun, but it can also feel a bit overwhelming, especially when juggling work, life, and everything in between. If you’re the kind of person who thrives on organisation and loves getting into the details, you might enjoy doing a lot of the planning yourself. But if the thought of coordinating multiple suppliers, timelines, and logistics feels more stressful than exciting, a planner could be your new best friend.
● Top Tip: A wedding planner can be particularly useful for couples planning a destination wedding or for those with a large guest list, where the logistics can get a little more complex. They’ll handle the tricky bits so you can focus on the fun.
The Benefits of Hiring a Planner
One of the biggest perks of hiring a wedding planner is that they’ll take care of the time-consuming tasks, from finding your perfect venue to sourcing and communicating with suppliers. They’ll also have connections with trusted vendors and be able to make recommendations that suit your budget and style.
A planner can also act as a buffer between you and any potential stress. Fielding issues or concerns between you and suppliers and will be with you on the day itself to make sure everything runs smoothly behind the scenes.
● Top Tip: At Tythe, our in-house team is here to help with every detail in the lead up to your day and has over 25 years of weddings under it’s belt. Our experienced team guide you through the planning process and our wedding coordinators manage everything on the day itself so you can enjoy your wedding day without worrying about what’s happening in the background. So, even if you don’t hire a full-service planner, you’ll still have plenty of support.
If you decide that hiring a planner is the right move, the next step is finding one who understands your vision. The key is to choose someone who ‘gets’ you as a couple and who you trust to bring your ideas to life. Have a chat with a few planners, look at their previous work, and don’t be afraid to ask them about their approach.
● Questions to ask a planner: What’s included in their package? Do they offer full-service planning, or just coordination on the day? How do they handle last-minute issues?
● Top Tip: If you’re working with a venue like Tythe, which offers a dedicated team to help with coordination, you may not need a full-time planner.
Engagement Photoshoots: Capturing the Moment
An engagement photoshoot might seem like just another item on your wedding to-do list, but it’s actually a lovely way to capture this incredibly special time in your lives. These photos serve as a beautiful reminder of the excitement, joy, and anticipation that comes with being newly engaged. Plus, it’s a great way to get comfortable in front of the camera before the big day.
Why Book an Engagement Photoshoot?
Engagement photoshoots are more than just pretty pictures. They’re a chance for you and your partner to celebrate your engagement in a relaxed, informal setting. You’ll also get to know your photographer, which makes a big difference on the wedding day itself—you’ll already feel comfortable, and that natural chemistry will shine through in the photos.
● Top Tip: Many couples use their engagement photos for their save-the-dates or wedding website. It’s a lovely personal touch and gives your guests a sneak peek of what’s to come.
When it comes to picking a location for your engagement photoshoot, think about places that are meaningful to you as a couple. Perhaps it’s the park where you first met, your favourite café, a scenic countryside spot where you love to go for walks or the venue you’ve chosen for your special day. Choosing a location that feels personal is what’s important.
● Top Tip: If you’re struggling to choose, ask your photographer for recommendations. They’ll often know the best spots. If you have the opportunity to do an engagement shoot at your wedding venue it’s a great dress rehearsal for trialing and selecting the most beautiful backdrops or where to capture the perfect natural light as well as those all-important candid moments.
There’s no need to overthink your outfits—just wear something that feels like ‘you’. You want to feel comfortable and confident, so stick with outfits that reflect your personal style rather than something overly formal. Some couples like to coordinate their outfits with each other, while others prefer a more casual, laid-back look.
● Top Tip: It’s a good idea to bring along an extra outfit or two for a quick change. This gives you variety in your photos and allows for both a casual and more dressed-up look.
Above all, remember that this is a fun and relaxed photoshoot—it’s all about capturing your relationship just as it is. Don’t worry about posing or getting every shot perfect. The best photos are often the ones where you’re simply laughing, smiling, and enjoying the moment together.
What’s Next? Planning the Journey to Your Dream Day
With your engagement celebrated and some of the initial planning decisions under your belt, you’re now on the exciting path towards your wedding day! But where do you go from here? This part of the journey is all about creating a roadmap that guides you through the coming months, making sure everything comes together seamlessly for your big day.
A wedding timeline is essential to keep everything on track, and it can help make the planning process feel a lot more manageable. Start by breaking down the key milestones and work backwards from your wedding date. This will help you see what needs to be done first – like booking your venue and suppliers – and which things can be left until a little later, such as finalising your menu or seating arrangements.
● Top Tip: You don’t need to do everything at once. Spread out your tasks to avoid feeling overwhelmed, and try to tackle one major decision at a time. There are plenty of wedding planning tools and apps available to help you stay organised along the way.
While every wedding is unique, here’s a rough guide to help you map out the key milestones:
● 12–18 months before: Book your venue, set your date, and secure your main suppliers (photographer, caterer, DJ/band, florist, etc.).
● 9–12 months before: Choose your wedding attire, send out save-the-dates, and finalise your guest list.
● 6–9 months before: Begin planning the finer details, such as your décor, menu, and invitations.
● 3–6 months before: Have your dress fittings, send out the invitations, and confirm all your final details with your venue and suppliers.
● 1–3 months before: Double-check your timeline for the big day, have your final venue walk-through, and arrange any last-minute tasks like seating plans or favours.
● Top Tip: Always build in some breathing space—life doesn’t always go to plan, and having extra time can make all the difference if unexpected changes arise.
As your wedding date draws nearer, staying organised is key to keeping things stress-free. It can be helpful to keep a wedding folder (whether digital or physical) to hold all your contracts, vendor details, and planning notes in one place. This way, everything you need will be easy to access as you count down to the big day.
● Top Tip: Try to enjoy the planning process, even during the more stressful moments. Whether it’s a cake-tasting session, a floral consultation, or a dress fitting, these are all part of the journey to your wedding. Squeeze in time to celebrate the small wins and remember that the day is about the two of you—everything else is simply the cherry on top.
Let Tythe Help You Plan the Perfect Wedding
At Tythe, we understand that your wedding journey is one of the most important and exciting adventures you’ll ever embark on. From the moment of the proposal to the day you say “I do,” there are so many decisions to be made and dreams to be realised. And while the planning process can sometimes feel overwhelming, we’re here to help guide you every step of the way.
With our stunning 14th-century barn, surrounded by idyllic Oxfordshire countryside, Tythe offers the perfect backdrop for creating a wedding that feels both personal and magical. Whether you’re dreaming of a rustic celebration filled with natural charm or a more elegant affair with luxurious touches, our versatile spaces allow you to bring your vision to life. And with our experienced team on hand, you’ll have all the support you need to ensure your day runs smoothly.
From selecting the perfect date to finding your style and vision for the day, you are both creating beautiful memories to share with your loved ones – let us help you make this chapter of your love story truly unforgettable.
If you’re ready to begin your journey with us, get in touch to schedule a visit or follow us on Instagram for more inspiration and ideas. We can’t wait to be part of your special day.
